times of trial...

Thanks as always to our "fearless leader" sabrina for starting off the accountability checkin.  I totally am struggling with the same types of things, and am wondering is we are just going through a time of trial and being attacked by Satan for trying be involved in something that can be so glorifying to God?


Well, here is my check in:

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

Nope nope nope.  The times that I have spent with the Lord have been a bare minimum--just doing it to check it off the list. I wrote in my prayer journal 4 times this week...the first two I can tell I was actually focused on it, but the last two were quickly jotted requests with no real heart.  I have been sick again...we think it was the flu?  (tests at my doctor were inconclusive). I was in bed Tuesday--Friday, then had a good day Saturday and today am in a lot of pain again.  I don't know why instead of leaning on the Lord during these times I just hole up in a cocoon and ignore him altogether??  Makes no sense, but that is what I'm doing.

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?

When I have times like this when my health is really bad, I wallow in depression and have a very defeatist attitude.  I have no desire to do anything and my attitude is horrible.  Not glorifying to God at all.

3. What is your biggest praise from this last week?

In the midst of everything, hubs and I talked more about whether I need to leave my job and finally came to what I think is a resolution.  I'm kinda bummed b/c I did not get the position that I was really hoping for (a part time administrative position at a church) but I am sending out resumes and praying for God to provide something.

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

Wallowing in depression.  Failing to see the wonderful things that God has provided.  Just a negative attitude.  Also, I am failing in the area of commitment.  I have this drive to do well for a few days, and then I don't care anymore and stop trying.  This goes for time in the word, getting things done at home, and trying to make better choices regarding my health/weight.

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week.

To be totally honest, I feel afraid to even say anything b/c I think I will fail!  I have not been able to follow through with anything lately and am scared to put anything out there and then to check back in next week and admit that I did nothing.  I guess I just need to trust Him daily with our future, finding a new job, and trust His strength to get me through each day...and to take baby steps of faith.  I will: talk to one of the doctors I work with about leaving my job, and I will pray about it daily and really spend time with the Lord.  No more wasting time on the internet or TV.