times of trial...

Thanks as always to our "fearless leader" sabrina for starting off the accountability checkin.  I totally am struggling with the same types of things, and am wondering is we are just going through a time of trial and being attacked by Satan for trying be involved in something that can be so glorifying to God?


Well, here is my check in:

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

Nope nope nope.  The times that I have spent with the Lord have been a bare minimum--just doing it to check it off the list. I wrote in my prayer journal 4 times this week...the first two I can tell I was actually focused on it, but the last two were quickly jotted requests with no real heart.  I have been sick again...we think it was the flu?  (tests at my doctor were inconclusive). I was in bed Tuesday--Friday, then had a good day Saturday and today am in a lot of pain again.  I don't know why instead of leaning on the Lord during these times I just hole up in a cocoon and ignore him altogether??  Makes no sense, but that is what I'm doing.

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?

When I have times like this when my health is really bad, I wallow in depression and have a very defeatist attitude.  I have no desire to do anything and my attitude is horrible.  Not glorifying to God at all.

3. What is your biggest praise from this last week?

In the midst of everything, hubs and I talked more about whether I need to leave my job and finally came to what I think is a resolution.  I'm kinda bummed b/c I did not get the position that I was really hoping for (a part time administrative position at a church) but I am sending out resumes and praying for God to provide something.

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

Wallowing in depression.  Failing to see the wonderful things that God has provided.  Just a negative attitude.  Also, I am failing in the area of commitment.  I have this drive to do well for a few days, and then I don't care anymore and stop trying.  This goes for time in the word, getting things done at home, and trying to make better choices regarding my health/weight.

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week.

To be totally honest, I feel afraid to even say anything b/c I think I will fail!  I have not been able to follow through with anything lately and am scared to put anything out there and then to check back in next week and admit that I did nothing.  I guess I just need to trust Him daily with our future, finding a new job, and trust His strength to get me through each day...and to take baby steps of faith.  I will: talk to one of the doctors I work with about leaving my job, and I will pray about it daily and really spend time with the Lord.  No more wasting time on the internet or TV. 

Crawling these days...

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

Ummm... no. I feel like I have been a broken record the last three weeks. I spent time with the Lord two or three days this week. My biggest reason for not doing it is oversleeping. I said that I was committing to do it at night if I didnt get up, but that just didnt happen either. I am not sure why I am struggling with getting up so much lately, but it has been bad!

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?

Getting up each day!! Any suggestions?? I have just been ignoring the alarm clock or choosing to sleep more. When I am awake I know that I would rather wake up early than get those last few minutes of sleep, but lately I just cant tell my sleeping self that. I need any and all advice. 


Also I have struggled with just wanting to be a recluse and not give people any time or effort.

3. What is your biggest praise from this last week?

Some of my youth girls! A week ago we had a DNOW and it really helped them refocus and get close. One even accepted Christ! Yay!

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

Laziness! Huge laziness. Just choosing to not do things because I dont want to, which is completely selfish. I feel like I have not been a servant or even attempted to serve others this week.

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week.


Well again, I am committing and trying to be as resolved as possible to spend time each day at some point with the Lord! Memorize three more verses in Phil. And actually pray for each of you (which I must confess I have not done thus far...). 


Your Turn- how are you doing Spiritually?? You can leave a comment on this post or write your own post on here. If you are not setup as a blog author and want to be, let me know. 

Slacker

Yes...I am the slacker once again...go figure! :)

Any who...I can't do check in this week due to lack of internet access.

I do have a huge prayer request...please pray for my family. My Mom's Mom died this week and the funeral is Thursday. Please remember us as we face this week and its challenges. Thanks...

I don't want Jesus to be my Facebook friend

I just wanted to share something I've been thinking about quite a bit lately.

In my Bible Study with BSF, we are studying the book of John this year. Last week we discussed John 17, which is Jesus' prayer for his disciples and Himself. Often referred to as the High Priestly prayer. As part of the lesson, we were sent to Hebrews to look at Jesus as the ultimate High Priest and we discussed a lot about what it means to truly know Jesus.

Through the study, I began to see how I treat Jesus like a Facebook friend. Facebook has allowed me to reconnect with some long lost friends, but for the most part, it encourages me to observe people's lives effortlessly without being really involved. I can know the latest news about 200 people, see their photos, and have an idea of what is happening in their lives. I can do all of this by just looking at my home page. I end up knowing a lot about these people, but not really knowing them at all. Facebook has given me a false sense of community. I share what I want and only tell the bits of myself and experiences that I want people to know.

I often find myself treating Jesus like a Facebook friend. I know a lot about Jesus. I am even in a Bible Study and read my Bible regularly, but at the end of the day, I'm not always experiencing the relationship with Jesus that I want to be or should be. I am not putting in the effort to allow that relationship to be truly transformational. In order to experience true community (even with the Lord) I have to be honest about what's going on in my life. I will never grow in my relationship with God by only mentally absorbing information about Him. I have to be willing to dig in, be vulnerable and allow myself to be transformed through the reading of His word and the power of the Holy Spirit.

I confess I'm bad at this. It's easier for me to be intellectually informed and satisfied by that but God is calling us to a deeper love in Him - a love for Him and for others enabled by the power of the Holy Spirit.

You can pray that I would learn how to pursue a relationship with Christ that is much more intimate than just being Facebook friends, a relationship that grows over time and work and transforms my life.

Checking in

Hi ladies! Hope everyone is doing well.  I've been wanting to post but just haven't sat down to do it, so here goes with the weekly checkin:

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?  For some reason I got in my head that I had still been consistent except for when I was gone for the weekend but I was WRONG.  I got out my journal to write on Monday night and had not written since the 10th.  eep.  I feel like I have been hearing a lot from God though and praying a lot.  Gotta stay on track.

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?  My attitude has been BAD for the past few weeks.  I am discontent in my job and trying to deal with my frustration in a Godly way, but am not currently doing well.  I have been short with my coworkers and very withdrawn. 

3. What is your biggest Praise from this last week?  I had a wonderful weekend with my best friend in Spring Hill, TN.  We had some good talking time as well as a great time at their church (which feels like Living Hope back when I was back in high school and junior high and is pastored by one of my friends from back in the day).  I also got to see her little daughter be dedicated to the Lord which was so special!

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?  I have been so discontent and my attitude has just been awful.  I have not been glorifying God and have been focusing on what I want and playing the "what if"/regrets game that is never healthy.  I am also realizing that I am horrible at stepping out in faith.  I like routine and "sure things" and the thought of changing anything big is hard.  I want to control it on my own instead of trusting the Lord's power. 

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week (ex. To spend 10 min in the mornings praying, or to read James, etc).  I will have time with the Lord every single day!

Also, if any of you are interested, one of my dear friends and former Bible study girls is coming over Saturday night before she leaves to go to Africa for a year.  Anyone is invited and let me know if you would like to come!  It will be at my house at 6:30, let me know if you're interested and I will get you more details.

Lastly (and I hope no one wanders over here from my other blogs)...I am considering leaving my job and would like prayer about that.  It is pretty much all about my health...I just feel that I need to get out of that doctor's office and away from children germs if I am ever to become healthy enough to have kids of my own!  It is extremely scary--this is the only job I have ever had, I've worked here for 9 years and I enjoy most aspects of it, I just feel like I need to do this.  Please pray for Patrick & I as we make this decision.  The financial aspect is scary as is the change factor--we are just very stable people. 

I was trying to avoid this...

I thought about posting on here this weekend several times, but seeing as how I have sucked it up this last week I kept deciding to put it off. So a big thanks to Mandy for putting it out there and making me face the group (be sure to read her post below).

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

Nope. Nope. Nope. I struggled every.single.day. to get out of bed period. I was late to work twice. I have no idea what was wrong with me, basically I just chose sleep over everything. I did spend time with the Lord three days, and of those I think one was "quality" time. I agree with Mandy- I struggled to focus.

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?

My mind. I was so self focused this week. I struggled to focus on anything outside of me and how I was feeling or what I wanted to do. I wasnt a very good worker, I was not a very good wife, I was not a very fun person. I was just blah. I still dont really know why, just an off week I guess?

3. What is your biggest praise from this last week?

I got to teach at the Creative Ministries Festival on Friday and Saturday, random really. On Friday night I had a small group of wonderful people who truly just reminded me of how great the Lord is and why we  persevere for the Kingdom. They really were a breath of fresh air for me.

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

Bc of my pride and trust in my own leadership ability, I did not prepare for those sessions I taught like I needed to. Like the people who showed up for it deserved. I struggle with depending on myself way too much.

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week.

Spend time with Him everyday! (If I miss it in the morning, then spending time with Him before I watch the stupid tv at night) Memorize 3 more verses in Phil. Pray for my youth everyday... everyday.

How is everyone else doing?? Remember to take time and think through these things- how you are struggling, what you are thankful for, what you want to strive for. This is how you live life intentionally. I hope this challenges you to seek Him daily!!

2 Weeks Later...

I've been blogging every day for the last 22 days on my blog. I don't know what I was thinking when I committed myself to that but I'm grateful that I only have 8 days to go.

At any rate, that means that I've been a little behind on any other writing (besides that which I have to do for work).

I've thought about answering Sabrina's questions for a few days - well, since I read the post in Google Reader and starred it so I would do it later....

And now, a full week later, I'm back around to it. So, I guess I'm going first. :)

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

I did spend time with the Lord each day - was it quality every time? Probably not. I struggle with keeping focus on one thing at a time. In order for my time with the Lord to be really quality, I have to be somewhere that my distractions are minimized. This means - no phone, no computer, no internet access...

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week? (I'll answer for the last 2)

I think so much of my relationship with the Lord is tied up in how things are going for me circumstantially. When things are good, it's easier for me to feel close to the Lord, when they're hard, I have a tendency to try to run away. My biggest struggle is to cling to Him in the midst of a major lull in activity related to raising financial support. To take those feelings to the Lord and allow Him to help me process it through prayer and the Word.

3. What is your biggest praise from this last week? (Again for the last 2)

I will name two things. The first is that I've made it to 41% of my total monthly financial need. I feel like breaking 40% was a big deal and comforting in the confirmation that this is what God has for me. The other thing is that over the course of the last 2 months, I've reconnected with an old friend and there's comfort in that, but it's also been an opportunity to minister to someone else. It's kind of a strange situation, but I'm grateful for how God has provided this in the midst of so much instability in my life.

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

Just that I'm not nearly as busy as I make myself out to be at times. And I probably should confess that I've not done the best job of keeping up with the schedule I made out for myself - which adds to my inconsistency.

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week.

Be intentional with my prayer time and with memorizing scripture. I set a goal of memorizing Ephesians at the beginning of the year and haven't gotten started on that. I found a neat resource to help with memorization online and just need to take the time to do it.

Lay it all out on the table

Hello dear ladies! Can I just say it was great reading all of our stories this week? Thanks for taking the time to share!

Its been one week since we all committed to seek the Lord each day and hold one another accountable in doing so, and I wanted to go ahead and check in. I know that online accountability presents its challenges and I will be the first to say I dont have a clue how to do this well. But I will also be the first to try something instead of nothingt. So if you have any ideas of how to truly hold one another accountable please do share!

For this week, I am going to ask a  few questions to get us started. If you haven't "committed" to this group, or don't want to actually post on the blog, but are reading then feel free to share in the comments as well. (I am mainly asking accountability questions about your time with the Lord, not deep bible study questions, theology, etc. This is bc I think the building block to going deeper is to seek Him daily. Feel free to add any other questions you think would be helpful)

1. Did you spend quality time each day with the Lord? If so, how was it? If not, why not?

2. What was the biggest struggle for you this week?

3. What is your biggest Praise from this last week?

4. Is there anything you feel you need to confess or repent of?

5. Share what you are committing to do with the Lord next week (ex. To spend 10 min in the mornings praying, or to read James, etc).

This is my story...

Okay, I'll go!

Cheyenne, here.

By way of introduction, right now I am a stay-at-home mom with an almost 18-month old. My husband, Matt, is a pastor on staff at a church in our college town; he works with college students and young adults.

My story begins in eastern Kentucky, in a rocky home life and a small rural church full of faithful, simple people.

My parents had a terrible marriage and eventually divorced when I was seven. We didn't attend church as a family, but nearly every Sunday I did attend church with my grandmother (and sometimes my teenage sister). At home I often saw the stark reality of sin and selfishness; at church I was consistently taught of redemption and the Redeemer.

The words of the Baptist Hymnal sank deep into my soul, along with Bible story after Bible story during Sunday school each week. I believed those stories as early as I remember hearing them, but the gravity of my own disobedience did not strike my heart until I was 10 years old, listening to our pastor teach the gospel at VBS. I gave my heart to Jesus that day and ran from the church building to my mom's car proclaiming, "I'm going to heaven!!!"

I was and still often am a fearful girl. I worry. I fret. I think of the worst case scenario.

Jesus became the Comforter and Refuge in those moments of fear. The Bible encouraged me when I was alone in my room listening to yelling parents. I prayed for help when I didn't know where else to turn.

God has done much to redeem my family since then. Post after post I could recount all that He had done for my parents, my sister, and I. But those early days of tumult shaped my heart in a way to cause me to trust in Jesus when all else was not worthy of my trust.

Oh I tried to trust in other things plenty of times after trusting in Jesus as savior. My primary idol of choice was boys, especially in high school. I was known as a committed Christian, president of FCA, a runner who used that platform to share God's truth. But I was a hypocrite. I trusted in relationships often to the detriment of the sincerity of my faith. I'm sure some of you can relate.

God used a man and his wife, my FCA sponsors, to show me a picture of what I had never seen. A godly marriage. It created in me a longing for something different than I was pursuing. I was still foolish, but God put me on a different path.

My first day of college I met the man I would marry eventually. He pointed me to Jesus and helped me become more like Him during our years at WKU. College was a time of learning discipline - spiritually, emotionally, physically through running. At times it was certainly painful, but I can see the fruit of those days often now. God also provided Christian friends and a vibrant church family (which is still our church family!) to help me learn to walk with Him.

Matt and I were married right after college, and four years later our sweet baby boy joined our family. Our family is far from perfect, but when I see what God has given I am in awe of His mercy and redemption. I long to be a picture of something better for the young students and singles in our lives.

The last 18 months I have battled for consistency more than ever in my regular time with God, but I have also learned how much I have to depend on Christ every hour. Being a mom reveals the selfishness, laziness, and all that other stuff I'd rather pretend is not there! There are times I am utterly clueless what to do or how to do it. There are moments I am bankrupt of patience and grace.

"I Need Thee Every Hour" is my constant plea, in my better moments. It is painfully obvious when I try to mother or serve (whether family, church, whatever) in my own strength. I am often still gripped by fear. What if... is the enemy I often encounter.

That's where you come in. As iron sharpens iron...

I'm praying that God can take those broken places in each of our lives and use the simple faithfulness of others to point one another toward the Redeemer and the redemption. He is faithful, and He will do it.

Cheyenne

Why me? Why this? Why now?

I'm Mandy Guss. I have a super unspectacular life that I blog about here.

I'm on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ. I live in Bowling Green and I am currently raising support full time to minister to college students in Uppsala, Sweden.

I became a Christian when I was 16. The story is over on my blog under "My Story" if you're interested.

The last few years have been interesting for me as I have gone from working at a "normal" full time job in the corporate office of Fruit of the Loom, to working as an administrator with a local church (Grace & Peace PCA), to joining staff this summer. I can't remember a more stretching time than the last 2 years have been since I was a student at WKU from 1998-2002.

I was involved in Campus Crusade at WKU and also studied Spanish and Religious Studies. I led a Bible Study, was active in evangelism and even spent a summer in Central Asia doing ministry. The year after I graduated, I worked for Crusade as an intern at WKU. I continued leading my Bible Study and also had many more opportunities to be trained in sharing my faith, teaching about the Holy Spirit and seeing women's lives changed by the Gospel. It was a hard year but I was consistently challenged and stretched.

After that experience, I headed into the "real" world. I struggled to really know how to walk with God without the context of being in ministry and constant Christian community. I was involved in a local church and was encouraged greatly through that, but struggled in my personal time with the Lord. This continued until going to church had become a facade to cover up the fact that I was so detached from the Lord that I almost never spent time with Him. I would feel bad about it, but wouldn't do anything to help it.

Things started to turn around in the fall of 2007 when I realized I was at the end of my rope... And continued with a major push towards walking closely with the Lord after a visit to Sweden in March 2008. While I was there, I was able to regain some consistency that again pushed me to reexamine my life and what I was doing with it. Shortly after that I left my job at Fruit of the Loom began working for the church, and later joined staff.

My relationship with the Lord seems to be somewhat tumultuous even now. My schedule is less than consistent because while raising support, I am not really the master of it. My weekly activities vary greatly based on other people's availability and I am often working nights and weekends. I am more dependent on the Lord than ever - every area of my life is truly dependent on His provision - and yet it's difficult for me to be consistent in spending time with Him.

Three things really help to anchor my weekly activities and remind me to stay in the Word. The first is Church. We meet on Sunday evenings only which gives me a nice break Sunday mornings to just rest and spend tim with the Lord. I am also involved in Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) and we are studying John this year. It's a great encouragement to me to keep up with my lesson every week. And finally, I meet with a friend every Tuesday who helps keep me in line. I'm grateful for these things and am hopeful that adding the J Club to this regimen will encourage me to dig even more deeply into the Word.

My biggest hope from this is that I would grow in consistency and that I would really be deepening my relationship with the Lord. I look forward to seeing how God chooses to use this in my life and in the lives of my fellow bloggers and readers. :)